Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Understanding a bi woman's needs

First off, y'all know that the sexy, talented, and just plain awesome Tony Stewart won his third race in four weeks this weekend, right? If you don't, here's a recap.

He celebrated by climbing the fence separating the track and cars from the fans--again--and made this comment:

But Stewart said he needs a personal trainer.
``Yes, I'm still too old and too fat to be doing that stuff,'' the 34-year-old driver said. ``I'm probably going to fall and bust my butt before it's over. They said I could go back down the steps and through the hole in the fence. I said, `Thank you, very much.' ``

Well, I swear to y'all that all I was thinking of was my wife's wondering about whether she should go from martial arts classes to personal training when I said, in front of several of my relatives, "Perhaps you should take him on as a client."

She rolled her eyes. "And all you ask is that he only wears shorts and you be allowed to watch, right?"

"You know, I wasn't thinking that at all," I replied truthfully, "but you know, a good idea *is* a good idea!" I kissed her cheek. "You're always so good to me, always thinking of my needs..."

"That really sounds appealing to you?" my incredulous aunt asked.

"I believe that's her idea of heaven," my mom replied. We laughed, the three of us, along with my brother. Everyone else was just slack-jawed.

"I'll do it if I can also take on Maria Sharapova as a client," K said cheerfully.

"And only as a client," I replied.

"Yeah," my helpful brother said. "You don't have to, like, work out *every* muscle..."

My aunt stared at us. "I always wondered how a person who isn't bisexual could handle being involved with someone who is. I think I'm getting an idea now."

"Well, you know how *this* bisexual's non-bi partner deals with it," I replied.

"That's still more than I knew before," she replied. And really, I couldn't say anything else after that.

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