Thursday, February 23, 2006

Too much time to think

I'm thinking about a lot of things.

About the poor, deprived readers who don't know about the marvels of canned B&M brown bread and Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Spice Swirled Philadelphia Cream Cheese. You're welcome. :-)

About doing something I've wanted to for a very long time, and cussing out my aunt late last night. Some members of my family only really care about the rest of us being happy, and don't particularly care if we make choices they wouldn't. And some only really care if we do what they would choose for us, and don't particularly care if we're happy. My aunt is in that latter group--essentially, that's it. That and she's hurt my mom and L'Ailee's feelings one too many times, and is working too hard to make her daughter, my cousin, feel guilty for falling in love with L'Ailee's boy cousin and grasping for a bit of happiness in her life. I'm tired of people who treat another person's working for their own happiness as a personal affront to them.

About how not talking about money early on can totally mess up a relationship. I honestly believe that opening each other's credit card bills is scarier and more revealing than taking each other's clothes off for the first time. I also think money can lead to more and worse fights than sex. Money's not just money; it's how we get things and what we count on for security. It's got a lot of very deep emotions wrapped up around it. I remember when I first moved in with L'Ailee and I saw her charging a Subway sandwich to her credit card. I got upset with her because that was a habit, and we ended up getting into a screaming fight where my learning disability and her education got wrapped up into it, and neither of us could eat Subway for a month after that. I shudder to remember how horrible it was. But we needed that fight. We needed those talks. We still do. My cousin acted like it was the most unromantic thing in the world when my mom and I suggested she talk with her fiance about finances, and in some ways, it is. But I think not airing it out early on can lead to even less romantic things (Nick and Jessica, anyone?)

About hyphenating our very ethnically different last names, and how the ways to say "commitment" just keep on coming even after marriage. Painting the walls and the fridge, the ones that used to be gray and white and used to be just L'Ailee's, says it. Merging our names does, too. We're arguing over whose name goes first, irritating all our friends by asking what they think, and playing a thousand and nine rounds of Extreme Rock Paper Scissors for the privilege. We do have a more mature way of settling the unsettleable, but we hardly ever use it...let's just say that it involves a race to the checkered flag, and everybody wins. We'll probably do that, and then keep playing Extreme Rock Paper Scissors in the courthouse lobby. ("Gun!" "Rock smashes gun!" "Damn it! Two more!") We agree on hyphenation, because it seems like the only fair and heritage-respecting way to merge our names, but not on the exact form.

About the things I so often think about: watching baby pandas play (click the words "panda kindergarten" on the blue bar), Sinead O'Connor videos (listen to how she remakes the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams"), how much I need these glass cathedral beads, and Tony Stewart's sweat. No, I did *not* bid on Tony's sweaty towel; even my love has limits. I am, however, disappointed to know that L'Ailee considers Celebrity Sex Amnesty a joke rather than a contract, and therefore won't allow me to offer myself to Tony as the stress-reduction toy he so desperately needs. If anyone thinks $510's a lot of money, just think about the over $100,000 this dude paid for two shirts from Brokeback Mountain!

And once again, surf's up...

Apparently fighting terrorism means making perfectly legal and safe when used correctly cold medicines hard to get rather than, say, port security. Wow, was I misled.

A woman had her child taken away by a Christian judge because she participated in Church of the SubGenius activities, a/k/a fun-sounding parties. Thanks to Wolfger, who so clearly illustrates how important it is to be able to mock authoritarians.

Media consumption, and the hypocrisy of today's Puritans.

There is a lesbian sorority! Man, there are so many jokes and porno movie plots in that, but I'll won't do everybody's thinking for them.

And if you just can't take any more bullshit, why don't you go paint your troubles out?


dondon009 said...

.... and did you explain to L'Ailee that the subway sandwich, with added interest rates, etc. etc. etc. could eventually cost a hell of a lot of money?

And I thank the heavens that you weren't behind me the day I forgot my money and charged a 52 cent cup of coffee at Target.... (senior discount, honey)!

I agree that finances can have a major impact on a relationship... that is why my credo is "what's mine is mine, what's yours is ours", which could possibly be another reason why I am alone!


Christine said...

I love your linky blog entries... ;) Thanks!

nancy =) said...

i had no idea what brown bread in a can was, so thanks for the enlightenment =)

i thought it was some kind of pop n fresh doughboy thingy...

and as always thanks for scouting out these always awesome links...


sttropezbutler said...

Romance is a marketing tool. Reality is, as you said, opening the credit card bills.

Have a fab weekend!


cats said...

hubby and i considered taking a neutral last name when we got married: garcia. but we decided that i would just keep all my names and add his... so now i have 4 names.

and thanks for the hugs

BostonPobble said...

It's been way too long since I told you I love you. So...I love you. :)

Jewels said...

you did it again. AGAIN. I have spoken with you about the linky posts, and yet, here I am pondering beads, bread and the very cool art site which is now bookmarked.

About the bread...did I tell you and (please tell L'Ailee) that I'm on restricted carbs? And that this is a form of food porn? With the cream cheese???

What are you trying to do to me??


Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Sometimes we need to use the time to think....

Blogzie said...

You are so cute when you think and as always, the Diva Of Links.

We don't have a money problem, other than there is never enough.

He earns it, I spend it.

What's the problem?


Lily said...

What a great post! It is important to talk about money. And canned bread. I think you make some good points here on premarital chatting!

Writer Mom said...

So much stuff, lady!!

Where to start. Money! Good call. Needs discussed...or don't merge checking accounts until the other person learns to balance his, uh, their finances. We figured it out. Haven't had a money squawk in five years. Whew! Those weren't fun.

Last names. I kept mine. We were BOTH going to hyphen, but then I got lazy about the paperwork. Then it turned into a big thing with traditionalists...(made me think of your aunt). As soon as I learned how much it pissed people off, I knew I'd made the right choice. Theme was, I guess, that I didn't love Tom enough to take his name. Then after the kids, people never know what to think. Am I his ex. wife, yet we get along so well? Am I his girlfriend? Are they not MY kids?
We tell people I'm a writer, then they scratch their heads and we move on.
Here's an idea. Go with whomever's last name sits next to the coolest author on a library's shelf.
(gotta get me some of that bread)