Tuesday, July 11, 2006

There are always consequences

There are a couple of fairly large elephants in the room that I have to discuss before anything else.

Firstly, I wasn't affected by the building explosion yesterday and neither was L'Ailee, although we did see smoke. TTG nobody died, although quite a few people were injured or lost businesses. It could have been so much worse. I always told you I will leave the house only if I am dead," Dr. Nicholas Bartha told his wife. A friend of mine says houses make people crazy and that's why she doesn't want one, but I think Bartha would have been crazy in a little studio apartment, too. Anyone who says we forgot about 9/11 needs to hear how concerned we all were, and how all our cell phones either rang or got turned on in unison. The phone lines were tied up for a few minutes!

Yet this waste of atoms can be married and I can't.

Speaking of which, there's that other elephant in the room. Straight friends both online and ITRW have worried that they're offending me by bringing up their marriages. All I really have to say is, don't worry! I'm not at all angry that others have and use that right. My mom raised me to believe that if others have something I want, it means I should work hard for my own, not take theirs away. Besides, that would be an awful lot of people for me to be angry at, and I could very easily have married a man myself. I'm angry at people who try to take the rights away from me, L'Ailee, and couples like us. I'm offended that it's coming to a vote in Massachusetts. I'm offended that bigots casually arrogate such responsibility over others' lives to themselves. But offended by others' love? Never!

I'm still amazed, and a bit disgusted, by the way Jeff Gordon won the race this weekend. So blatantly and deliberately spinning out Matt Kenseth like that! And all Kenseth was trying to do was hold his place up front! I felt so bad for Kenseth, even though he's one of those drivers I feel neutral about. I've always been taught to be careful with my trash on the track, because the cars are so precisely engineered that a chip bag or hot dog wrapper on the grill can cause a wreck--imagine what a deliberately thrown beer bottle, which many race fans gave Jeff Gordon as he won his dirty win, can do to the drivers behind him. But I think Gordon deserves consequences, too, and it's looking like ol' Rainbow Brite will be escaping them once again. Plus Tony Stewart ran out of gas because Gordon's stunt caused them to have to drive extra laps, and Tony had *just enough* gas. So he and Kenseth both finished in the twenties (out of 43 cars), when they could have had top five. I absolutely have no use for Gordon now!

Something excellent happened to me on Sunday, too. No, not that amazing episode of the 4400 (everything's coming together!) No, my neighbors got all curious, the way many people might if the neighbor woman had her window open and was filling the air with spray paint fumes and Sinead O'Connor singing reggae. (I sang along, adding lost lyrics: "Downpressor man/where you gonna run to/Dammit that hurts!/onnnn that day/Oops I missed that spot/and if you run to the rocks/Where's that other can?") So anyway, their little girl was so mightily impressed with my pink bed that I got a job redoing her room for her sixth birthday! It's going to be a little princess' paradise when I"m through with it. I'm getting paid on top of cost! And I've got a couple weeks. Next weekend, she'll be sleeping in her big sister's room while I install carpet tiles and paint. I love spending other peoples' money! And I'm going to be starting a portfolio. L'Ailee may or may not be able to help me out, but that's okay--it's a small room, and she'll have other opportunities, I'm sure. If I needed to put in all new furniture or something, I'd need her amazing sense of space and proportion, but for this one, I'm okay on my own.

Also, I'm looking at design schools for this fall. I don't really wanna go, but I know I need to jump through that hoop and get at least my associate's if I'm going to be serious about this; I also need to learn some things that I can't teach myself. I've always loved to learn, but always hated school. This, at least, is all about stuff that interests me and will be practical. Also, even if I don't use the certification I get, I can shop "to the trade" for myself!!! Now that's motivation! :-)

Oh, and it's link time. Ready?

I occasionally learn about useful things from the Advocate. Like Femme Mafia. I *still* get both straight and gay people acting all shocked that I have a female love in my life because I look my best in long hair and skirts; it's annoying.

Seven signs your partner may be straying. Good for all kinds of relationships.

Maybe if you watch the Amazing Race, you remember when a contestant sacrificed her hair at an Indian temple for luck. (It worked, too--she and her husband won it.) Womens' hair offerings are being used to fund temples. This made L'Ailee a bit twitchy, as she's worn wigs and extensions due to her personal preference. But I think once you freely offer a gift, it's the recipient's to do what they will with it, and why shouldn't the temples get funding instead of waste it?

Did you know the Chinese invented the first ice cream? If it weren't for, you know, the communism and brutal repression, I'd totally love that place, I swear. Here are some delicious Chinese-inspired ice cream recipes. Tried the coconut--it is YUMMY!


EL said...

I *still* get both straight and gay people acting all shocked that I have a female love in my life because I look my best in long hair and skirts.

A friend was complaining about that once (how she didn't get "the nod" on the street and all) and my sister's ex-bf, a total doof, was like, "You should move to LA. All The L Word girls have long hair."

Kernel of truth, yes, but ...

Anonymous said...

I have to say, I've been in a relationship with a woman whom I would have married at one point. It's a tough deal to understand isn't it? I don't stop by too often lately (it's summer and we're outside!) but I wanted to say hi!

The Fat Lady Sings said...

Great to hear about the design job. Cool it just coming your way like that. See? Some things are just meant to be. This is one of them. You should post pictures when you're done. And as far as I'm concerned - you're married. Eventually you will be able to get the piece of paper and all (this bigotry bullshit can't last forever!). My hubby and I count all the time we've been living together as married - not just since we made it legal. Anyway - that's how I see it. If anyone has a problem honey – it’s theirs to deal with – not yours!

SassyFemme said...

I *still* get both straight and gay people acting all shocked that I have a female love in my life because I look my best in long hair and skirts; it's annoying. OMG, how true! I have almost felt rather invisible within the "community." I'm a girl that likes being a girl, I don't know how to be anything but that, nor do I want to be. I've always joked with Fran that it's a good thing that I have her b/c no one woman would ever give me a second look otherwise, but on a serious note, it's true. I don't know how femmes who aren't coupled do it, other than hanging out at bars. Unless people see me w/Fran, I've been told I just don't set off gaydar. Harumph.

www.kimmy.cc said...

You HAVE to take before and after pictures! Pink is my favorite color. Except during football season when it is blue and red. Unless I can find the texans logo on something pink LOL (can you tell I am ready for football season?)


puhpaul said...

People's perceptions are amazing. Lesbians have to have buzz cuts and hate men. Gay guys talk with a lisp, act effeminately and are soley concerned with their bodies. Maybe I live a sheltered life, but the I've yet to meet the "typical Bull Dyke," and have only met one or two effeminate gay men. It is all so odd to me.

I missed the race again. I was watching the world cup final. It sounds like it was a good one, too bad about Matt Kenseth, he is one of my favourites (I think it's the black and yellow car.)


Kelley Bell said...

What is marriage anyway? A union between two people, recognized by the community.

Is a marriage in Mexico recognized in the U.S?
Is there any form of marriage that is universally recognized all over the world?

Yea, thats semantics, I know. And I know it hurts to be outcast by the community you reside in. And it sucks.

But If you jump the broom, put a dot on your forehead, break the wine glass, or do whatever ceremony your particular customs prescribe, then in my book, you're married.

I know its frustrating to live in a part of the world that does not grasp the concept of Civil Liberty, but hang in there. We're workin on it.

I think the key is to find a way to get the women of this country to unite under one banner of civil liberties for all.

Therrre are more women voters in the U.S. than men, so it seems that if we could get some sort of a broad consensus, we could break some barriers.

The way to do it is through small grass roots discussions, that will open up the plights of diverse groups, and create mutual understanding and empathy.

In intimate setting like that, women open their hearts to one another. While in big settings, and in print, they tend to infight and sabotage themselves.

Carie said...

glad to hear your ok...

Jeff Gordon is such an ass, I think its funny how people say hes so great and such a good man...he whines, cheats and cheated on his wif...blah I hate him, I was so mad when tony ran outta gas, he was doing so good....

I wish I knew someone who redid rooms to help me with my daughters...shes gonna be 12 in a few days and she wants something bright, fun and yet a place she hang her posters and still have it look cool lol...I hope you have a blast doing the little ones room, I think that would be so much fun!

BostonPobble said...

I have two friends. One "looks the part" of a lesbian ~ and is straight. The other could have stepped out of a fashion magazine (and yes, the rest of us are a *teensy* bit jealous of this fact) ~ and is a lesbian. Society doesn't quite know what to do with either of them.

The Massachusetts vote scares me. Almost 250 years of being the rabble rousers who are staunchly for the rights of the individual have been eroding frighteningly quickly over the last decade or so.

Post pics on the design job! And the hot pink bed!

Bigg said...

Congratulations on the job wit the little girl's room -- I love to spend other people's money, too!

I agree with you on the essential unfairness of the marriage debate in this country. Makes Canada look a bit more civilized, doesn't it?