Wednesday, December 02, 2009

And it don't stop

Today the New York State Senate finally voted on legalizing same-sex marriage in New York. The vote was "no." Jeremy at Good-As-You has posted a rogue's gallery of state Senators who voted no.

This morning, L'Ailee and I called our Senator's office. We both told their staffers how we spent almost $13,000 on our wedding. (Most of it was helping our relatives and friends with hotel and plane expenses. We didn't tell them that.) We asked them whether they'd prefer the money had stayed in New York instead of going to Massachusetts; in both cases, they said yes. I also told the staffer I got that I'm bisexual. I mentioned that I have loved men, that the love of my life who I married is a woman, and that they are equal in my heart. "No, that's not true," I corrected myself. "[L'Ailee] means more. But the law treats us like it's just trivial, and I could have married a man I knew for a day and had that taken more seriously. I don't think that's right."

"I don't, either," replied the staffer. "That's a new one on me, but that's not fair." I was glad to represent a bi perspective, if that really was a new one on him. He then asked me when I moved to New York. "Five years ago, from Florida, to be with her," I said, hoping to shore up my points. "That's why you sound Southern!" he replied excitedly. Okay. My senator voted yes, anyway.

We didn't lose anything. Our marriage, conducted out of state, is still considered legal here. And now we know where we stand with the State Senate. It's still demoralizing as all hell. We remember how in our last year of high school, lo these many years ago, we thought same-sex marriage would be legal in Hawaii and we'd go there after we graduated college. Yeah, life usually doesn't work out as we plan it when we're 18, I know. But it's getting fucking old.

I was going to post about Thanksgiving, and maybe I still will. It was good, and I actually didn't want to kill my brother even once! I also wanted to write about how L'Ailee and I came to embrace each others' sports, because we've gotten a lot of questions about that recently. That'll come later. So will the (hopefully) fun and interesting links. Tonight we cuddled, and I cried a little, and she held me while she teared up a little herself. I don't have to be patient for that. I don't have to wait on any elected official to find their compassion or pluck up their courage for that. I don't have to appeal to other voters for that. I remembered that the important part, the hard part, has already been done. We found and stayed with each other. I told L'Ailee that, and she smiled slightly. "I feel less tired and less angry," she said.


Snooker said...

What a frustrating situation.
I'm so happy I just made the move to get the hell outta Dodge so I could live openly and legally in marriage with the woman I love.
I wish only the best for you.

Jude said...

I couldn't believe the votes yesterday...esp. after only one "NO" person had the balls to stand up and speak about his choice. What is it going to take?