Saturday, April 23, 2011


Twitter being Twitter, the idea of Glenn Beck's final show coming up resulted in a hashtag game on Friday evening, #GlennBeckFinalShowSpoilers. I am an avid participant in hashtag games. These were so good, I wanted to archive a few favorites somehow. I'm proud of my own, though they do betray the sorts of movies I watch when I'm in a girly-swirly mood.

Starting with my own, @GreenEyedLilo:

Cries real tears for the first time as he apologizes to everyone he's defamed.

Learns he could've gone back to his home world whenever he wanted if he clicked his heels 3 times.

Glenn reveals his alter ego, Glennda.

Laughs maniacally while saying, "Man, I really had you going! You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!"

Glenn realizes that George Soros is the soulmate he's been corresponding w/by email. #YouveGotMail

The Ghosts of Patriots Past make him see the error of his ways, + he summons a boy to fetch a plump Easter goose

Glenn learns he can be more than a pretty face, + graduates w/honors from Harvard Law School.

Now for others, several of whom I follow.

@2babru: GB removes mask. He's really 'Old Man Whithers'. "Woulda gotten away with it if it werent for you meddling kids"

@adambonin: Beck goes preppy to woo Sandy, who in turn shows up clad in tight black leather.

@adavid: Takes hammer to an entire box of chalk then snorts the lot through a rubber hose.

@allanbrauer: Goldline has been selling pyrite.

@allanbrauer: Billy Mumy turns him into a jack-in-the-box, then wishes him into the cornfield.

@allanbrauer: Glenn mortars the last brick into the wall as Mrs. Beck watches, crying, then SHE gets up and leaves basement.

@awienick: Glenn Realizes that Leia was his sister … and decides to turn to the Dark Side so he can lust after her…

@awienick: Danny Glover peers over, saying "You're one ugly…" as Beck wakes up screaming "MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Fight ensues…

@boloboffin: "You get a caliphate! And you get a caliphate! And you get a caliphate! EVERYBODY GETS A CALIPHATE!"

@bschefke: Glenn Beck realizes that the Republican budget plan is actually a cookbook
@c_r_evans: The Aristocrats!

@DaysWithDave: Beck, Hannity, Doocey, Cavuto, and O'Reilly embrace before singing It's a Long Way to Tipperary

@fountain_penmj: Glenn dresses as a bunny. He does not explain.

@fountain_penmj: Glenn reveals his Kenyan birth certificate

@FunnyManG_Child: As "Don't Stop Believing" plays in background, Van Jones, Barack Obama & Jon Stewart walk on set. Blackout...

@GregFrayser: Arrested under Good Samaritan law, Beck has character witnesses called against him, beginning w/ Van Jones

@GregFrayser: O'Reilly chops off Beck's hand with lightsaber, reveals he is Beck's father

@kcivey: Camera pulls back to reveal buried Statue of Liberty. It was our Earth all along

@Kipper42: Wants to write one last thing on his chalkboard; chalk breaks. Beck breaks down in tears. Fade to black

@LauHope: Beck water skies wearing swimming trunks and leather jacket and jumps over a confined shark

@LeftsideAnnie: He reveals that he is going to be the new spokesmodel for Vick's VapoRub

@LeftsideAnnie: Glenn reveals that he's going to be on next season's DWTS.

@LiberalJaxx: Beck will reveal he's secretly a Dem hired by Soros to chase all of Fox's advertisers away.

@MagicLoveHose: "My real name is Banksy."

@myinfamy: Beck says 'Screw you guys, I'm going home'.

@MyNameIsMofuga: During a tear filled rant admits he has perfect 20/20 vision and only wore those glasses to look smarter.

@osgood9: " Yes Glenn your own gold dust covered straight jacket"

@owillis: Beck turns the earth's rotation backwards, stops election of Obama

@PatriciaB42: His sweater will get caught on the chalk board and will continue to unravel until he collapses in a sobbing pile.

@PROTIPZ: Glenn and a band of plucky conservatives fight back a hoard of evil libs preventing the opening of the Hellmouth

@rightwingwatch: Beck finally destroys the broadcasting antenna that has prevented us all from seeing that Obama is a space alien

@strawberryslady: Beck dies after begging us to "look at me" for one last time

@TVHilton: It ends just like the X-Files: with a mythology so confused and contradictory that nobody cares anymore.

@Voiceofgarth: Glen pulls his head out of his ass to the thunderous sound of suction as his head finally breaks loose.

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