Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Like Athena from Zeus' head

I felt compelled to add my own two cents at ExGayWatch.com--NOT at Zach's blog.

I remember my mom making me write sentences as a punishment when I was a teen, things like "I am sorry I was so lazy and hateful" 500 times. I didn't believe any of it. I got angrier and angrier at her the more I wrote, as a matter of fact. But it wouldn't surprise me if Zach's post was a high-tech and very public version of that.

And of course, I don't know him anyway. Let the ex-gay promotors project crap that isn't there onto him. I'd rather be in the camp that lets him feel free to be himself.

I just hope he's going to be okay.

The steel grater toilet paper's for the LIA/Rs, Zach's parents, and the asshats over at ExGayWatch.com who expect way too much, too.

You know who disappoints me? Everyone who expects this kid to come out of this experience as a poised and articulate pro-gay spokesman right away, like Athena from Zeus' head! Good Gods, y'all, the rest of the ex-ex-gays (or ex-inmates, like Lyn Duff and Daphne/Dylan Scholinski) who have come out got to have a few weeks to get their heads right, at least. Did you people have your memories erased upon your 18th birthday or something? Because you've obviously forgotten what it's like to be a teenager.

(And no, I don't mean that for everybody. Most of you seem to get it.)

My wife and I were among the well-wishers. We can understand why his parents would like our links to sites on legal emancipation and our exhortations to find an aunt or grandparent or teacher to talk to and possibly move in with deleted. We also advised him to work like a fiend on his grades so he could get into a good college FAR AWAY, and possibly get help from the Point Foundation. I know we weren't the only ones giving that kind of advice. I hope he can do that, but he seems bright enough to get some kind of scholarship to me.

Let him grow up--the rest of us could do that. Let him talk to his real friends who knew him before he posted about LIA/R. Let him go back to school (and possibly on school *computers*. Incidentally, does anyone seriously think that kid can get to a computer without "supervision" at the moment?) Let him work on his grades and negotiate for phone privileges. Let him be the normal, nice gay kid he was, questionable music taste and everything, in front of only a few blog readers, before he became Boy, Interrupted. Isn't that what we really want for our LGBT kids anyhow? For them to be kids and enjoy growing up?

Y'all, he knows about us. He knows where we're at. We can be there for him in his future. But he needs to get through his present first. Right now, we can be the adults--and that's what we need to act like around these kids, ADULTS--who are NOT trying to push and prod him and shape him to suit their own agenda. If you want to help LGBT kids, try to remember what the individuals are--KIDS--and donate to groups of adults who are there to help out, such as the Hetrick-Martin Institute and the Point Foundation.

3 comments:

scribble said...

bravo !!
Thank you for saying what I am feeling.
he has asked to be left alone.
I plan to do just that.
I believe his every word is being written for him at this point.
He is a child still.
I choose to let him find each moment of childhood that he can.
While he can.
hugs Cracker Lilo

SassyFemme said...

Excellent! I, too, have followed his saga. I agree with Annie that his words are probably written for him. There's also no way he wouldn't be affected by his experiences. He's a kid, in a semi-grown up body, thrown into an adult media feeding frenzy. Any, excellent post, and totally agree with all you wrote.

Karen said...

ditto and ditto !
hugs to you Miss Lilo !