What I'm doing tomorrow night, perhaps

Churn and Burn is called that because he went through assistants like toilet paper. Treats them and his unfortunate underlings about as well, too. He also is under the assumption that anyone young and/or female is a fidiot. He's supposed to be brilliant, but his brilliant ideas came out all muffled to me on account of his head was up his ass.

Anyway, we're having his going-away party tomorrow night. I think we'll make it the social event of the year. The Onion classic I link to above provides tons of inspiration. I think a blown-up picture of Churn and Burn would honor him in the way he deserves, especially once we start playing Pin the Tail on the Jackass Donkey. I think we'll have a vodka slide or luge or whatever the hell you call it there, too.

All this and I just did a redneck wake last week. My aunt and uncle, who hosted it (not the ones who took care of Grandma) are absolute rich rednecks, and there was, like, a mountain of cheap beer, enough to accommodate a large family whose members mostly inherited Grandpa's ability to put away an obscene amount of alcohol and barely feel it.

Some things are too serious not to laugh about, Grandpa said. The older I get, the more I understand.