Worrying ten steps ahead

The Sweet Potato Queens' Message Board of Love closed. Damn. Apparently things got real ugly this weekend. Any Queens reading this, please check in and say hi. I hope it's only temporary, but Jill Conner Browne's gotten so much grief over the past few months, and maybe she just didn't need it. Damn!

I had other things on my mind.

My tummy's tossing and turning, my blooodstream feels like it's accelerated! When an idea seems right and interesting, I feel it physically. This idea wasn't even mine or L'Ailee's, but it's been suggested before. Before, we laughed. Yesterday, it just seemed so right and so doable. Several of our friends think we should do interior design as a team. For a living.

This could be because we're working on the apartment two of them are going to share right now. I, and they, are particularly proud of the "mallard" color scheme in the living room. Seriously, I was inspired by a mallard's coloring--taupe and white, but with strong accents of black, orange, and that distinctive teal green. For our own home, L'Ailee and I fight over every last detail--the color of the walls, the sheets, the softness and size of the sofa, etc. We had a battle royale over glass-topped tables (she's pro, I'm anti). Our styles just aren't the same. She's very modernistic, loving grayscale and spare lines and metal, metal, metal. My style gets called things like "traditional" and "country," but I don't like those words. I go for color and comfort first, is all. For our friends' home, we basically listened to them. And our two brains have been clicking together to work as one. L'Ailee has a good sense of scale. I have a good sense of color. We each bring up the things the other one's forgotten. It's just worked, and it's been a great deal of fun.

But could we do this for a living? I had b-school, but what I really learned there was that I'm not really cut out to be an entrepreneur. L'Ailee has a much better sense of discipline than I do, though. She had design school, but for fashion, not interior design. Would interior design schools really help? Aren't there a lot of designers in this city already? One of our friends said it's about time for a queer female team. But some people who wouldn't dream of being homophobic are actually lesbophobic, including some gay men. Would the stereotypes about queer women having no sense of style or humor hold us back?

Shoot, my therapist tells me I worry ten steps ahead of where I need to, and that holds me back sometimes, because I can talk myself out of something before I even get to start. I don't want to do that. When I get feelings like this, the idea usually works, as long as I work. At least I have other things to worry about besides the FMA and the New York State Appeals Court and why Homeland Security thinks my city is expendable. (New Yorkers, have you sent Chertoff your postcard yet?)

And there's still more on my mind.

Y'all know I have taste--I don't care for this thing on the Hearst building!

A defense of Sgt. Patrick Stewart's right to be buried under a pentacle, in honor of his religion...from Christianity Today. Wonderful.

An Iowa court ruled that Chuck Colson's "faith-based ministry" to inmates was actually religious coercion.

Russ Feingold for President? Hmmmm....

Nava Atlas reminded me of a great NYC veggie restaurant that I need to re-visit--Red Bamboo

Sarah from Tomato Nation shaved her head for charity. She hilariously documents the regrowth process. When I sent it to L'Ailee, she e-mailed back, "Why do you think I am wearing a wig to Mona's wedding?"