Thursday, June 08, 2006

In every end, a beginning

I have exhaled! I know it was widely predicted that the "Marriage Protection" Amendment would fail, but I never like to get overconfident. The fact that it was even a matter of discussion was enough for me, you know? But now I can think about other things. Like the New York Appeals Court...

...or how to go about becoming an interior decorator. It's not all fabric swatches and paint and quipping like Grace Adler or Suzanne Sugarbaker. It's gonna take time and effort and work. But it still seems like a good idea to us both. "We can do this. We can really do this." We've been saying that to each other over and over.

It feels sort of like an era has ended. The Sweet Potato Queens' Message Board of Love closure looks like it's for good, and we're all still finding each other. It was so sudden. And then one of the most beloved posters of all, This Dutchess Rocks Hard, died of cancer yesterday. She spent almost a year fighting valiantly, and maintained her dignity and humor to the end. People who'd been around longer and met her in real life were posting their memories and pictures while she was in hospice, and they made me want to meet her even more. I'm sorry I can't now.

What was it about the MBOL anyway? A few women there didn't like me. I'd get upset, I'd blog about it or complain by e-mail or private message, I'd decide I just wasn't going to post for a while. But quite a few other women did like me, and I liked them right back. For every meanness, there were ten encouraging comments or funny stories or jokes or recipes. That's why I came back. It was just the most random mix of topics--anything but politics, though we all had a pretty good idea of where the most vocal posters stood (this one's Republican, that one's an old hippie, and Lilo's definitely for same-sex marriage!)

I went to that board to begin with because I felt adrift and at sea in NYC a year ago. I wanted a place to be my Southern, proudly female self. I wanted to talk about boys--I love my girl, but I still like the sight of Tony Stewart in his snug orange fireproof suit and a UPS guy in shorts. And I loved the Sweet Potato Queens books. Jill Conner Browne basically said what any credible advice guru would, but she did it with humor and style. Between telling funny stories about her daddy and explaining that The Promise (to give a hummer) could motivate a man without being fulfilled, she'd put in some fantastic stuff. "If you ignore your life, it'll ignore you right back." "Some people must think God's stupid." And the Queenly motto--"Be Particular!" It was good ol' girl fun, it was motivational, it was enough to make me proud. The hundreds of women who participated had in common the fact that Jill Conner Browne's empowering messages spoke to us somehow. And we still do, even if we don't have the board.

Also, it's the place where I found out about dress-up yard flamingoes! So how can it not have a special place in my heart?

Link time.

What's worse than having your own land yanked out from under you? Finding out the bullies who did it don't need or want it after all.

Ramon Johnson from Gay Life at recommends some good bi-male blogs.

All Congress Ever Thinks About is Sex It's awesome even if you don't know that the author, Art Buchwald, is in his eighties and writing from a hospice, and I'm in total awe of him.

Nobody plays hurt like a NASCAR driver. But is that a good thing?

I learned that pandas really do make everything better. Look how cuddle therapy with a cub is helping Russian teenagers who survived the Beslan school massacre. The sweet sixteen Wolong reserve babies "played soccer" to celebrate the World Cup. (It's the round black and white thing on the field! No, *that* one!) And Tai Shan, our own National Zoo cub, isn't just cute--he's educating scientists about his species!

Want another kind of cuteness? Seems my cats aren't the only ones who watch TV!


butterpup said...

Hey Lilo!! So, went to lurk on the MBOL ... and zip, no one home anymore?? I'd left cuz it was just to painful to watch them duking it out all the time (I was Elle Belle there).

Damn, I'm dying to hear about the great crash.

Email me eh, at ellezeebub at yahoo dot com.

Glad to see you are kicking it! Elle

Writer Mom said...

How did I miss Brangelina's big-lipped baby girl?

:) Stopping in.

Cassandra soon-to-be-Leuthold said...

Hi Lilo--

I was trying to find the MBOL, and your blog was the only place I could find ready info on it. I'm sorry I missed it. But it makes me feel good that there are other Jill Connor Browne fans out there--keep making your heart sing!