How to work your spouse into an absolute state

Ably demonstrated by my L'Ailee today.

*First, find a pretext to visit your spouse at work during the midday. For example, say your spouse forgets lunch. Doesn't she need a nice, nutritious lunch, since she didn't tell you anything about going out to a business lunch and you know she's flat broke? Sure she does! And you're just the girl to deliver it!

*Wear something that isn't too blatantly slutty, but shows off your attributes nonetheless. For example, a pair of snug-fitting jeans with a favored T-shirt that's been cut off just short enough to reveal a sliver of your awesomely defined white belly and your navel ring if you lift your hand more than a centimeter.

*Is there a body wash that works with your body chemistry to make you, in your spouse's opinion, smell like absolute sex on two feet? For example, Neutrogena Rainbath in the Citrus Marine scent? By all means, take a little with you in one of those small travel bottles and wash your pulse points with it in the bathroom in the lobby, so you've got that just-washed-and-will-get-dirty-again-real-quick scent when you reach your spouse a few floors up. (One of the other secretaries saw you, Winged One. She thinks that was a *real* tough workout you had before you saw me. ;-p)

*Finally, while your spouse is hugging you just a little too long and barely restraining herself from nibbling your Citrus Marine-scented neck right in front of her boss, lean in and whisper in your sexy, breathy voice that you have TiVo'ed the show your spouse plans to watch tonight--for example, "My Name Is Earl"--so that you can make other plans. Say a mild, neutral goodbye out like you said nothing, making sure your spouse can see you leaving.

I'm fairly certain this maneuver would also work on men, and just might find out how it works when slightly but meaningfully adapted (for example, Philosophy Lavender Pound Cake body wash, a low-cut camisole, dropping something 'cause you're so klutzy and having to pick it up...)