I posted the following to the MessageBoard of Love last night, waiting for L'Ailee to get home from her work-late night. She was a little late, but going in a bus on black ice (cold and rainy weather), and without a hat! Oh, I hate worrying and waiting. I feel like sharing it because others might relate.
There's a joke in it--I always ask for a "smiling through tears" emoticon, because I'm always doing that. :'-)
You get used to living on your own and not having to tell anybody where you're going and feeling independent. Maybe you've got somebody special in your life, but they can come and go as they please, too, and you're both okay with it. Your only concern is whether they've found someone else.
Then you settle down with someone and commit to them, and you build your new life together, and the togetherness feels so good.
You don't think that you're going to worry about them traveling late at night alone in sleety rain in a big city, or that you won't be able to sleep alone again anymore, not ever.
You don't think that the worry is going to eat at your heart. You feel like your insides are as torn up as your bitten nails.
The only good things about it are that you get to know they feel just as concerned about you...and that they *do* come back. Really.
I need that smiling through tears emoticon again.